Gender in the Early Years & Why It Matters - By Dr Alistair Bryce-Clegg - [Listen Along 🔊]
An Original Article by Dr. Alistair Bryce-Clegg - You Can Listen Along to This Article!
Gender in the Early Years, and Why It Matters
By Dr Alistair Bryce-Clegg
One of the best things about working in the Early Years is that young children arrive full of energy, ideas, and curiosity. They are not yet shaped by all the rules that older children and adults follow. But even at three or four, they have already picked up lots of messages about what boys and girls are ‘supposed’ to do. Sometimes these messages are easy to spot. Often, they are quiet and subtle. That is why our work with them matters so much.
Cordelia Fine’s book Patriarchy Inc. helps us understand where these messages come from. She says the world still treats men and women differently, even when we pretend it does not.
She talks about money, jobs, and how people are rewarded or ignored. One of her big ideas is that care is ‘the work that makes all other work possible.’ If you work with young children, that feels true. We do a huge amount of caring every day, yet our work is often not seen as important. Fine explains that this is not an accident. It fits a bigger pattern where care, usually done by women, is undervalued.
Another idea in her book is called ‘mindshaping.’ This means that children learn what gender is by watching the world around them. They are not born liking certain toys or activities. They learn what is expected of them from the stories they hear, the games they see, the words adults use, and the reactions they get when they try something new.
Mindshaping works quietly. It does not shout. It whispers. It repeats a message again and again until children think it is normal.
That is why we hear things like ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘girls are natural carers.’ These ideas feel true because we have heard them for so long. But research from people like Gina Rippon, Lise Eliot, and Rebecca Jordan-Young shows something different.
They tell us that brains are shaped by experience. Children become good at what they are encouraged to try. They avoid things that feel closed off or unsafe. When we change opportunities, children change with them.
We see this in our settings all the time. Boys often head straight for blocks and big movements. Girls often choose caring play or writing. But this is not ‘nature.’ It is a result of all the messages children receive before they ever reach us. Once you start noticing these patterns, you realise how much they guide behaviour.
This is why the idea of ‘different but equal’ does not work. People say boys just prefer construction and girls enjoy home play, and that this is fine. But Cordelia Fine explains that choices are shaped by what the world makes easy or hard. It is the same for children. Their choices are not free if the environment pushes them in certain directions.
Our job is not to force children into different play. Our job is to make sure all options are open.
Where Gender Hides in Everyday Practice
You can spot gender messages in small places if you look closely.
• Who carries heavy things
• Who is asked to tidy the home corner
• Who leads the games outside
• Who gets praise for being brave
• Who gets praise for being kind
• Who gets told off more quickly
• Who gets more attention for their ideas
These moments seem tiny, but they build up into a picture of who children believe they are. Once those beliefs are in place, they can last for years.
Small Changes That Make a Big Difference
Here are some simple, practical ways to help widen children’s choices. These actions do not need special training or big budgets. They just need you to notice, pause, and adjust.
Change the environment, not the child.
If only boys use the construction area, add things that open it up. Try fabric, small animals, story books, or real photos of buildings. If the home corner is full of girls, add tools, maps, loose parts, or other equipment. Little changes can shift the whole feel of a space.
Play Prompts That Open Up Possibilities Without Reinforcing Gender
1. Design and Build Studio
A space with blocks, cardboard, fabric, and loose parts where children can invent, sketch, build, and test ideas. The focus is creativity, not who usually builds.
2. Creature Care Corner
Soft animals, puppets, or toys with materials to make habitats, or shelters. It mixes caring, designing, and problem-solving without pushing children into roles.
3. Problem-Solving Table
A simple daily challenge, such as a broken track or a lost creature. Children choose any materials or tools to solve it.
4. Movement and Balance Missions
Challenges like moving a feather without touching it or creating a shape dance. Everyone works with strength, control, and teamwork.
5. Story Makers Area
Puppets, blocks, small world bits, and fabric so children can build scenes and act out stories in their own way.
6. Mini Makers Workshop
Loose parts and simple tools with prompts like ‘Make something that spins’ or ‘Make something that hides something.’
7. Community Helpers Hub
Photos of many different jobs with props and loose parts so children can mix roles and create new ones, rather than copying gendered versions.
8. Materials Explorer Station
Water, clay, fabrics, magnets, sand, and natural resources for children to test, mix, and transform. Links beautifully to Common Play Behaviours and removes ideas about ‘who’ these materials are for.
Listen to your words.
The way we speak can strengthen stereotypes without meaning to.
Instead of ‘You’re very strong,’ try ‘Look at how you’re solving that problem.’
Instead of ‘You’re so good at helping,’ try ‘You understood what your friend needed.’
Children hear these differences and build their ideas about themselves around them.
Talk about gender when it comes up.
If a child says ‘Only girls…..,’ you can ask, ‘I wonder why you think that?’
Children learn best through real life experiences and discussions rather than teaching ‘moments’.
Books help too. Choose stories where men care, women lead, and everyone gets to be scared or brave.
Celebrate care as skill.
Fine says care is undervalued because people pretend it is natural. But in Early Years, care is complex and thoughtful. When you help a child calm down or make a friend, you are using professional skill. Talk about that with your children. Let them see being caring as something that is important and valued
Think about your team.
The Early Years workforce in the UK is mostly women. Research argues that jobs done mainly by women are often given low status. That is why it matters when we support men who join the sector or women who want to lead. When we challenge comments that belittle our work, we help change the story!
Why This Matters So Much
If children learn gender from the world around them, then the world can teach something better. And Early Years practitioners are in one of the best positions to shape that early learning.
Children’s ideas about themselves form very early. They affect the subjects they pick later, how confident they feel in groups, what risks they take, and what they think they can become. We are not teaching them to ignore gender. We are helping them see more options than the narrow ones they are given.
So ask yourself:
• What gender messages might children be hearing in your room?
• Whose play is encouraged? Whose play is ignored?
• How might the space be pushing children in certain directions?
• How can you open up more choices?
• What do your words say about the value of your work and theirs?
Equality does not begin in high school or in adult workplaces. It begins in the block area, the role play, and the outdoor space. It begins when we let all children be gentle and all children be bold. It begins when we treat care as skilled work. It begins when we notice whispers and choose to whisper something different!
The change the world needs can start in our classrooms. And we are far more powerful than we sometimes believe.
Alistair.
If you enjoyed this article, or you’re interested in hearing more about gender in Early Years, be sure to check out the interview I did with Cordelia Fine, available now for paid subscribers: CLICK HERE.
