Traditions and Transitions - Guest Post by Kerry Murphy

Supporting neurodiversity.

Oct 31, 2024

Opening Vignette

Liam is a parent to Adina, who is autistic. Adina's special interests are trains, cars and diggers. At Christmas time, Liam got Adina an electronic train. He wrapped it up, as is the tradition, ready for Christmas day. Leading up to Christmas, Liam noticed that Adina could not tolerate or understand why there were so many wrapped boxes but left them out because that was tradition. He encouraged Adina to engage in the great unwrapping on Christmas day because that was tradition. Her agitation frustrated him because he was trying to do something special. She refused to open her gifts, so Liam opened them. While she was utterly delighted to have the electronic train, Liam then realised that he did not have the right batteries for the electronic train. And so a Christmas day of despair ensued, as Liam kept pushing for a "typical" Christmas day because that was tradition.

Introduction

The above vignette is built upon a discussion between a parent and a key person and aims to provoke thinking about the impact of changes in routines and rhythms, especially around Christmas time (and other seasonal celebrations). The reason the vignette focuses on the home setting is to remind educators that special events, occasions, and celebrations can lead to upheaval both at home and the setting and to ensure that when thinking about support for children with developmental differences (henceforth neurodivergent), the setting and wider context are always considered.

To be clear, this article does not suggest eradicating all events, special occasions, and celebrations. Rather, it offers considerations and practical insights for ensuring that transitions and shifts in seasons become compatible with all children's differences and needs.

Social Engagement and Routines

When children feel safe and secure, they are more likely to be socially engaged and self-regulated. Social engagement is how your brain and body (nervous system) respond when you feel safe, connected, curious, and open to learning, leading to an overall sense of wellbeing (adapted from Aldred and Aldred, 2023). Social engagement is your "base zone" and enables you to exist in the present moment and immerse yourself in the experiences at hand.

One way neurodivergent children become socially engaged is to be in environments that feel familiar, predictable, and attuned to their emotional, sensory, physical, and cognitive needs. Through experiences of sameness, ritual, routine, and rhythm, children can form the blueprint of how a particular space works, enabling them to focus on play, learning, and interacting matched to their preferences (Murphy, 2024).

Intolerance to change

However, not all spaces or experiences are designed with neurodivergent children in mind. On the contrary, educators can sometimes be encouraged to increase a child's tolerance to an uncomfortable space or experience as preparation for the "real world" or through the belief that things cannot be avoided, so the child needs to get used to it. While this might be with the best of intentions, it can unfortunately lead to more issues for the child, including;

· The child learning to tolerate discomfort while suppressing and camouflaging their stress responses. This develops into masking, where children learn to conceal their inherent traits and needs to fit in (Smitten, 2022).

For example, consider the decorations, sensory input such as music, potentially unfamiliar people, and social expectations a child must follow in the spirit of Christmas.

· Exposure to unexpected experiences leads to prolonged stress for the child, increasing their intolerance of the space or experience.

For example, consider menu changes that often occur, meaning children with specific food preferences may become reluctant at snack time because of all the unfamiliar foods.

Making Celebrations Compatible for All

Early years settings must demonstrate cultural understanding to recognise the importance of celebrations, events, and special occasions. While this article focuses on Christmas, it is important to note that many worldwide events are relevant and important to our cohorts of children. Therefore, the ideas shared can be transferred to other traditions.

All children can benefit from access to these experiences, but settings need to consider the suddenness, intensity and pace at which these experiences occur. It is important to explore whether too much emphasis is placed on maintaining traditions rather than considering well-planned transitions. Below are some considerations and practical insights.

· Maintain routines and rhythms that are important

The most obvious practical step is to ensure that important routines and rhythms are maintained so that social engagement for all children can be ensured. Using your knowledge of the children, you can consider how to maintain familiarity and predictability.

"As we wind down for winter break, some routines can become deprioritised. Sometimes, it can feel too open-ended for children. For example, we have a child who is ADHD and can tip between high energy to hyperactivity (and dysregulation) when no structure is offered. We use First and The visuals to help him know what to expect and when "

· Communication is key

Celebrations and Special Occasions can suddenly arrive like a whirlwind, causing sudden changes and shifts in children's day-to-day experiences. The opening vignette encouraged educators to recognise that this whirlwind can occur at home and in the setting. Early conversations about how a child might be supported can ensure consistency across spaces.

"We provide a calendar of events and celebrations across the year so that parents and carers can have conversations with us early on about what will work and not work for their individual child. We also send a questionnaire for feedback, ideas and preferences, which helps us gather insights".

· Reduce the surprise element.

Many celebrations and special occasions have a surprise element, such as wrapped-up gifts or fireworks displays. Similarly, children may leave one evening and return to a completely changed environment the next day. Such experiences can attack the senses, and the change in expectations can be confusing. Adding things gradually or incorporating bursts of change rather than overhauling an entire space for a period of time can be beneficial. It is also important to be aware that returning to the usual space after a celebration can be very difficult.

It is also important to remember that not all children celebrate the same events, so a dominating celebration can be exclusionary to children of other faiths.

"We had discussions that not all children and families celebrated Christmas, so we referred to it as Winter break, and we could see that turning our setting into a grotto was causing sensory and cognitive stress to children and staff. We decided to spark winter joy in more subtle ways. For example, we set up some winter-themed treasure and discovery baskets instead of decorating the entire nursery. We also incorporated patterns and textures into the arts and mark-making corner. Children then engaged with these materials as part of their usual routines rather than being bombarded by unpleasant sensory surprises."

· Prioritise Consent and Choice

When we provide a positive experience for children, we can assume that they will all want to participate, but it is important to ensure they know there is a choice. It can also be useful to think about the different ways a child might engage; for example, a child might prefer writing a letter to Santa rather than meeting him and sitting on his knee.

"We had Santa visit the setting but knew an unfamiliar person would be hugely unsettling for some children. We did some prep work beforehand, showing images of Santa, and Santa filmed a short video message. For some children, this was enough, and for others, it offered assurance, so they did want to meet Santa. Consent was important, and signs of reluctance were taken as non-consent."

· Take an "experience sensitive" approach.

According to McGreevy et al. (2024), to be meaningfully inclusive, we must avoid judging someone's experiences and attempt to understand them. This can be described as being "experience sensitive." As an educator, you often have intricate knowledge of your key child's experiences and preferences and can advocate for supporting them.

"We have children with specific food preferences, so we ensured that the same and familiar foods were available. We offered some traditional foods but made this part of the rolling snack so that children had a choice."

"We have children who adore the hype of celebrations and quickly become overwhelmed. We ensure our environment caters to different experiences and incorporate low-arousal spaces where children can rest and decompress."

· Prepare for inevitable changes.

Changes in routines and rhythms are inevitable, and many of these can provide children with a positive experience. Transitional support, such as visuals or stories, can help prepare the child for change to ensure an enjoyable rather than overwhelming experience.

"We planned a winter walk in the local nature reserve. We know the child loves outdoor experiences, but we also know the transition from the setting to the nature reserve would be challenging, so we provided a social story and some visuals and ensured the child knew what to expect. This extra prep work meant the walk was wonderfully motivating for the child."

· Exposure or tolerance expectations are never the answer

It may be with the best intentions to believe that children should get used to uncomfortable experiences, but the impact can be detrimental. If a child communicates with us through language, emotions, or actions, they cannot tolerate an experience, so we should ensure we reduce that stressor.

"Christmas music can be pretty hectic, and we had one child that found the 'busy' elements of the music intolerable. It upset them, especially when they repeatedly heard the same songs. We switched the music to some classical tunes that children still recognised and could sing along to. The environment felt way more relaxed with a shift in volume, and genre"

Conclusion

Neurodivergent children can sometimes be judged for their reliance on routine and sameness, often considered inflexible, rigid, and unreasonable. It is important to reiterate that we exist within a chaotic world that is not necessarily designed with neurodivergent ways of thinking, feeling and perceiving in mind. This means that neurodivergent children need to find ways to sustain some order rather than being unnecessarily difficult. Furthermore, when these needs are satisfied, the neurodivergent child has more opportunities to experience social engagement, joy, pleasure, wellbeing and even spontaneity. Adapting and expanding upon our traditions, which centre on safety and security for all children, is the gateway to equitable rather than tokenistic attempts at inclusion.

Closing Vignette

Liam had reflected with his partner on the upheaval of Christmas for their family and for Adina. He realised he had become swept up in maintaining tradition over understanding his child's unique needs. In the months leading up to Christmas, the two spaces that felt most safe—both home and her nursery setting—had become unrecognisable and confusing. He sat and spoke to the key person at a nursery, and they both realised that Adina's wellbeing had been deeply impacted by the missed opportunity to plan and prepare for seasonal transitions. And so Christmas (and other special events) began to look different and more compatible with their families' needs. By removing this pressure to conform to tradition, the setting and family created new affirming rituals that enabled joy and celebration. Liam also added that no more wrapping of presents was also good for the environment too.

About Kerry Murphy

Kerry is an autistic and ADHD early childhood specialist dedicated to promoting neurodiversity and disability-affirming practices. As a lecturer in higher education, she collaborates with early years settings, organisations, and local authorities to enhance understanding of neurodivergence and diverse child development.

Kerry is also the author of several highly commended books and is currently completing her Educational Doctorate on the pathologisation of play and child development in neurodivergent children.

You can find out more about Kerry here.

References

Aldred, L, K., and Alred, D. 2023. Embodied Education; Creating Safe Space for Learning, Facilitating and Sharing. Kindle Edition.

McGreevy, E., Quinn, A., Law, R., Botha, M., Evans, M., Rose, K., Moyse, R., Boyens, T., Matejko, M. and Pavlopoulou, G., 2024. An experience sensitive approach to care with and for autistic children and young people in clinical services. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, p.00221678241232442.

Murphy, K. 2024. Neurodiversity-Affirming Practices in Early Childhood: An Empowering Guide to Diverse Development and Play. Routledge.

Smitten, J., 2022. Masking in Autistic Children: The Childs Voice.