Why Children Pretend to be Cats! (and other animals) - By Dr Alistair Bryce-Clegg [Listen Along 🔊]

You'll be AMAZED! - By Dr Alistair Bryce-Clegg

Why Children Pretend To Be Cats

By Dr Alistair Bryce-Clegg

For the past couple of months, every time I see my 3-year-old grandson (in person or online), he spends a good amount of time pretending to be my cat. He really commits!

If you work with children aged two to five, you will almost certainly have met a similar child/cat combination (or possibly a dog!). They crawl around on the floor, meow loudly and incessantly, or ignore you completely unless you talk to them as if they are indeed a cat!

This behaviour is incredibly common in early years settings. So common, in fact, that it can start to feel ordinary, and we are often tempted to dismiss it or ask the children to stop. But as we know, when something appears again and again in children’s play, it is usually because it is doing important developmental work.

Children pretending to be cats is not a phase to rush through. It is an important form of play that helps children learn how to take risks, manage their behaviour, and make sense of their emotions and relationships.

So, why cats?

Cats are familiar to many children. They have a really good idea of what cats are and what they do. Children watch cats being stroked, talked to, fed and cared for. When a child pretends to be a cat, they are stepping into a role that allows both closeness and gives them lots of control. They can do things as a cat they would never get away with as a child. Like climb onto a table, completely ignore you or just ‘meow’ loudly in your face!

From a developmental point of view, this sits firmly in symbolic play. From around the age of two, children begin to understand that one thing can stand for another. Jean Piaget described this as part of the preoperational stage of development. A child can now think, ‘This is not really me, but I can pretend to be something/someone else for now’. That ability to hold reality and imagination at the same time is a major cognitive step.

Pretending to be a cat is also a way for children to explore feelings safely. Young children experience big emotions, but they do not yet have the language or control to manage them easily. Play becomes their emotional language (which is why it is SO important that children get lots of time to play).

Research shows that children often choose pretend roles that reflect what they need emotionally. A child who becomes a tiny kitten may be exploring comfort, vulnerability or the need to be cared for. A child who becomes a fast, jumping cat may be exploring excitement, independence or physical release. The role gives shape to feelings that might otherwise feel overwhelming.

This links closely to Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. Between three and five, children are in the stage of initiative versus guilt.

Through play, especially imaginative play, children try out roles, take the lead and explore what it feels like to be capable and in control. When adults respond positively and allow children the freedom to explore, children develop confidence and a strong sense of initiative. When ideas are frequently shut down or criticised, children can begin to feel guilt and doubt themselves.

When they pretend to be cats, they are learning that they can have ideas, make choices and act on them. Pretend play makes this ‘safe’ as it is the cat who is taking the risks, exploring emotions and responses, whilst also possibly pushing the boundaries.

When a child decides they are a cat, they are also deciding how the game will work. They are leading. That sense of initiative is vital.

Erikson was clear that children at this stage need encouragement, not embarrassment.

One of the most important things this kind of play supports is self-regulation. Self-regulation is the ability to manage behaviour, attention and emotions. It is not something children are taught through telling. It develops through experience.

Recent research has shown strong links between pretend play and self-regulation. When children stay in role, they are following an internal set of rules. Cats move in certain ways. They make certain sounds. They respond to certain cues. Holding those rules in mind and acting on them takes effort.

Studies published in the last few years have shown that the quality of children’s role play is linked to their ability to regulate themselves. Children who can sustain pretend roles, adjust their behaviour to fit the play, and negotiate roles with others tend to show stronger self-regulation skills. This includes things like controlling impulses, waiting, shifting attention and managing frustration.

Lev Vygotsky described play as the place where children stretch themselves beyond what they can usually do. In play, children are often ‘a head taller’ than in real life. Pretending to be a cat allows a child to practise control in a context that feels safe and chosen, rather than imposed.

Pretend play also supports children in taking developmental risks. This does not mean dangerous risk. It means emotional, social and cognitive risk.

Play often includes feelings such as fear, excitement, frustration or comfort. Acting these out within a pretend role allows children to explore them at a distance.

There is also a strong link to executive function. Executive function includes skills such as inhibition, working memory and flexible thinking. Studies have shown that children who engage in social pretend play show stronger growth in inhibitory control. In simple terms, play helps children practise stopping themselves, remembering what they are doing, and changing plans when needed.

Attachment theory helps us understand why this play often involves moving away and returning. John Bowlby described the idea of a secure base. When children feel safe with adults, they are more able to explore. A child may crawl off as a cat, then come back for reassurance, then head off again. That movement tells us the child feels emotionally secure enough to take risks.

For practitioners, all of this has clear implications.

• Pretending to be a cat is meaningful play. It is not attention-seeking behaviour, and it is not avoidance. It deserves time and respect.

• Joining the play matters. Responding in role, even briefly, tells children that their ideas are valued. ‘Hello cat, you look hungry’ can be enough to extend language, connection and thinking.

• Observation is crucial. Repeated play themes often tell us something about a child’s emotional world. A child who is always a kitten may be seeking reassurance. A child who is always an aggressive cat may be working through frustration. This is not about labelling, but about responding thoughtfully.

• Pretending to be a cat is not a distraction from learning. It is learning. It is children practising self-control, emotional regulation, social understanding and risk-taking in a way that feels safe and meaningful.

When we understand what is really happening in this play, we are far less likely to try to stop it. Instead, we can support it, extend it, and use it to build the foundations children need for learning and life.

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References

Piaget, J. 1952. The Origins of Intelligence in Children. International Universities Press.

Vygotsky, L. S. 1978. Mind in Society: The Development of Higher Psychological Processes. Harvard University Press.

Erikson, E. H. 1963. Childhood and Society. Norton.

Bowlby, J. 1969. Attachment and Loss: Volume 1, Attachment. Basic Books.

Lillard, A. S. et al. 2013. The impact of pretend play on children’s development. Psychological Bulletin.

White, R. E. et al. 2021. Engagement in social pretend play predicts preschoolers’ development of inhibitory control. Developmental Psychology.

Bredikyte, M. 2023. Pretend play as a space for the development of self regulation. Frontiers in Psychology.

Smits van der Nat, M. et al. 2024. The value of pretend play for social competence and regulation. Educational Psychology Review.